In Umbris Sancti Petri

Sometimes the Lord works with us in mysterious ways. This past year of learning, prayer and discernment at the North American College has been an incredible chance for me to learn more and more about how the Lord is calling me to serve him with my own life. He has first of all invited me to a deeper interior life, and poured grace into my heart that I might see him as the central and ultimate focus of my entire being. He has shown me a profound beauty in the Catholic priesthood that truly appeals to my heart. He has also shown me the eminent mission of service in the Church and to the Church, and the joy that can flow from loving care and compassion for the poor and sick.

Fortunately, God does not only manifest one 'side' of his saving mission, though. He presents to us all the options, in order that we might make a free and peace-filled decision to serve him with our entire life. In addition to the joy of priesthood, the Lord has also used this year to show me the beauty of the vocation of marriage, and the life-giving capacity of conjugal chastity. In short, God has surpassed my expectations, which is not uncommon, and has prompted my heart with desires I never foresaw a year ago.

In order to take the time to discern well what the Lord is calling me toward, and as a result of the helpful guidance of my spiritual director and many close priests and friends, I will be taking a "leave of absence" from the Diocese of Toledo in the coming year and pursuing graduate philosophical studies in the States. During this time I will continually be seeking to understand God's will for me, and how he intends me to serve him most fully.

In light of this rather large decision, I've considered a few things that I'd like to share here. Perhaps the most beautiful thing about the spiritual life is the tension between "call" and "choice" that exists in our vocation. If our fundamental vocation is to holiness, as the Second Vatican Council says, then our vocation in life should ultimately reflect that movement toward sanctity. Although God calls each of us to a particular way of service within the Church, there is no doubt that he leaves the entire decision free for us to pursue as we will. The continual aim of prayer and discernment is to pursue the vocation God is calling us toward, not because it is harder or impossible, but because we begin to realize there is a level of peace in it which is inexplicable in human terms and which has been put into our hearts by our Creator from before our birth. We are all created to serve God in a particular manner, and it is our goal to freely choose that vocation through ceaseless prayer and loving pursuit of God's will.

No doubt I will continue to write this blog, and perhaps with greater frequency than before. Seeking the Truth of the Catholic faith is a vocation to which we are all called. I hope that this blog can be a source of fruitful meditation and discussion for as long as I am able to write. Please continue to pray for me and know that I am praying for those of you who read this!